Monday, August 26, 2013

Fighting the anxiety

So here we are nearly to the end.... 17 days (if I make it that long) to delivery day. The anxiety has overtaken me. It doesn't help that we have come this far and that I'm being watched like a hawk. Nothing can ever take it away except the safe arrival of the girls. Part of me still protecting my heart I'll be ok... I'm holding my own but feel the shaken uncertain self inside a lot too. I just can't do what I want to do and that scares me... If I get up and make dinner... I pay for it in contractions.. if I try to participate in any way with bathtime for J or bedtime... contractions. Mostly stuck in my recliner for the last part of this makes you stir crazy! 8 days left to work.. just get me to September already!!! Thank goodness for my husband. He kisses my swollen face.. calms my every worry and tries so hard to do it all. Bless this man who stands up instead of down and doesn't complain. IF only he could carry the girls these last few days.... that would make all the difference. I know he would if he could. Joseph can you hear mommy - hold onto your sisters a little longer, brother... keep them safe and alive until our day to be together.. I love you sweet son who is almost 4 an unbelievable.

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