Monday, June 24, 2013

Precious Moments

This week is significant.   We are 25 weeks.   I'm silently celebrating the fact that if born the Dr's will do all they can for the girls.   Both Bryn and Wren seem to be happy inside and have grown.   We have another Growth Scan this Friday and as always I'm a nervous wreck just thinking about it.   The possibility of delivery each week grows and yet we know we don't want to deliver them for another 10 good weeks.   I have my eyes on the September delivery prize but they may have other plans...  we only can take it week to week.

I'm happy.   Content with the idea that they will be here sooner rather than later.  Faced with NICU and all that there is and knowing that ideally we JUST NEED MORE TIME.   Time is something we can't force.. wish for and really hope for.   Each day so much more precious than the last.   It is not up to me to do anything more than love them while I have them.. eat a ton of food to keep them sustained and go to each and every appointment as optimistic as I can.

Doubts creep in when I re-live the first 2 Dr's appointments that we had back at 20 and 21 weeks.  For some reason the Dr who told us that both girls would not survive creeps into my dreams at night and steels my breath.   I often wake worried that was my last moment with them...   Forcing myself to relax back to sleep is difficult... sometimes I just have to get up and use the doppler I have at home for safe measure.

In Good moments I can feel the girls kicking some.  My placenta on top does block a lot of activity that is going on in there... but when they do kick it is pure pleasure for me.    I'm growing large enough for people to think I'm ready to deliver any day now...   They are often surprised when I tell them I still have 10 more weeks.    I like to see their faces when I do (and I don't let them in on the twins...lol)

Work is winding down for me - I have 3 weeks left of a project that I must finish.... then I'm hoping the Dr's will have pity on me and allow me to work from home for the remaining weeks.   Just not having to get up and get ready or drive to work helps So very much!  

Yesterday I took the kiddo out just me and him.. I am really slowing down.   My breath is shorter and shorter and I can't stand up for too long.   He misses me picking him up (so sometimes I sneak one in..)
I feel guilty here too.. He is so used to me running around with so much energy - I'm sure he feels the slow pace momma has taken.    So outings just me and him alone are likely done...  I need all the help I can get with that kid - he is super fast and needs lots to do all the time!!!

As usual with blog/family/home/career/pregnant life... I'm hungry - Time for some food.   I'll check back in soon when we hear of the growth of the girls!

2 comments:

brigette said...

Praying for you and those precious girls. I can't wait to hear how their growth scan goes!!

Anonymous said...

Thinkig of you, love hearing the updates.