Today was my anatomy Scan. I was hoping to get a good picture of them both together but it just didn't happen. In fact nothing happened as I thought it would today... my world is once again turning... round and round and the clickty clack of the roller coaster ride just started its upward ascent.
Don't get me wrong... the babies look amazing... (to me) The anatomy scan is a scary 2 hour ultrasound where they identify possible issues in brain, kidney, heart development as well soft markers for any disorders can be detected.... most blissfully unaware mommas know this scan as the "gender" Scan. I wish that was what I still thought.. knowing so much sometimes puts more stress on the situation than needed!.
The babies are not measuring the same... in fact there were several issues today that we were not ready to hear... everything looked fine until the Dr. came in and told us that "Things do not look good"
Wren: Baby A currently sitting closest to the cervix... she is extremely active and kicking and squirming all over the place. Her heart, brains, lungs, and measurements are all perfect as well good indication that the bladder and kidney are all functioning as they should at this stage. She did have a few bright spots on her heart that could be an indication of downs syndrome... more on that later...
Bryn: Baby B currently sitting almost on top of her sister and near my left side She is not as active and was facing away from us a lot during the ultrasound. She is equally beautiful but we noticed too small... Her bladder, kidney, brain, measurements were also right on target. She had some fluid on her heart and it was very difficult to get a good measure on her.. her HB was low too..
As I stated.. the Dr. came in and told us "things to not look good" Keep in mind that during the scan I just didn't think it was that bad. Apparently both girls have markings for Down Syndrome. Both Girls hearts have some issues that may or may not lead to more serious complications. The Worst part.. Baby B - our Bryn Harper has not grown in 2 weeks. She is far far behind and her little umbilical cord is not inserted correctly to the placenta (that is shared) She not getting what she needs to survive... so they say.
I had genetic testing done.. still don't think it is downs.. I don't feel it not that it would matter I would love them the same... I think she has improper cord placement - and depending on what can be done for her and her growth only time will tell the outcome. My heart is heavy but my spirit of hope and light shines on.
I can't give up.. I can only hope louder.. I can't regress.. I can only Pray for things to change... There is always a maybe....
4 more weeks to Viability... come on little ladies YOU can DO this! 10 more weeks to the minimum accepted early delivery (says your father) and 15 more weeks until you arrive! on time and perfect!