Friday, February 1, 2013

Feeling Full

Today was beta 2 for baby Jean 2013.   His/Her numbers almost doubled.. 149 to 225  Sometimes Frozen Embryo lag behind a few days before pepping up.  I am still so hopeful...  I also have a new Start at the company I work for. A new job and fancy promotion inside the company starts Monday.   Talk about a wow factor.   New hope, new life, new promotion, new start to everything.    I just feel so grateful.   Life is so beautiful when you let it be sometimes.    The looming worry and the doubt I'd have another child are gone.  the stressful job I had with direct reports lifted.   I want to shout out at the rooftop how happy I am.    OK so a little apprehensive at starting a new job..  and of course they don't know that I'm expecting.  Heck I should not even know that I'm expecting.    Ah the life of a fertility veteran.  Can you please have a huge number on Monday little Jean Bean?  

I've always felt such an obligation to tell my boss or to tell my company what I'm doing..  I have a guilty conscience that nobody knows this time  (least not my new boss)   He will learn soon enough if in keeping with my previous pregnancy I show really early!   This time I'm so happy for the chance at my new job that I almost feel I should have waited.. should not have applied for the role knowing.. just knowing that my family was not yet complete.   BUT why should I do that?  Because I'm a woman and need to not have a career?  No way!   So like with everything I set my mind too, I decided to pursue the next level of employment, move forward in my career and work hard to continue to achieve where I want to be...  at the top.   well not really at the top top but enough of the top to make a difference!   So I will.

I know that there are going to be days ahead of me where I question the above statement and I worry about this littlest Jean bean inside but today..  if only for today I feel invincible!


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