Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hello God? It's me Grief again

I've been running at a pace that is too hard to keep. I've been making excuses as to why I don't have time to stop and think about Josephs 2nd birthday and the fact that he is in heaven. I stopped caring about the process of grieving for my son so that I could focus on JJ, my husband, my job, the dogs and frankly anything else that could distract me..

Yesterday Grief caught me again. It choaked me down and sucked out the wind in my sail. Held in terror that I was missing him so deaply I wept... at a stop light. Why does it always hit you in the car? How could I ignore the pain and burning in my heart of missing him for so long. Bleary eyed drove on...


deep breaths... deep breaths... it will all be ok. I need to honor my grief again.. talk about it.. and him. Bring back the good work I'd done getting to where I am... staying true to the feelings and love for my baby. I can feel the shine on the way as I yet again turn to the next chapter.... of all of our lives...

Joseph can you hear mommy? I am reminded of you in my heart everyday... as it beats with its love for you always. I miss you sweet child. I am still reaching heaven from earth with my focus. Love always, mom.

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