Sunday, September 4, 2011
It takes your breath away.. it knocks you down to your knees again... No oxygen can fill your lungs when you have to go to the hospital with your child. I have been there already.. I have been there too much.. I have seen so much suffering. I can't do it again.. and yet there I was pushing the tube down JJ's nose. I saw myself standing next to the crib... Sick with hospital worry. He is fine now and home again but this time with an NG tube. He does not care about it - he is just fine. All the tests run negative. He just lost weight.. and then did it again the next week. So here we are, almost 6 months old. finally back to 14lbs. Hospitals suck the life out of you... and leave you crusty, broken, tired, and weary. Grow my little man.. grow.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I smelled you there.. felt the pressure and willing of your body for your brother.. Oh how I miss you sweet baby... If only... if only...
at 11:02 AM