Thursday, May 5, 2011
That is me... when I was 12... I am holding my first nephew, Tommy. My sister Jill gave birth young and we were really close growing up. She now lives across the street and can be seen in this same position as I was then.. now with my son. There is so much history in our family.. I started with this picture as Tommy is my sisters first born.. and my family's first baby (after me as I WAS the baby). He brought joy to us all.. My sister was very young when she had him 19 and it seemed impossible that everything would be alright.. but you see it is.. all right..and it happened as it should have for her.. Happy times.. good memories and lots of family time.
There is another type of history in our family... coincidences some may call it.. They say history has a way of repeating itself? Just happened to do so for us.. only many many years apart and sooner for me than for others..
Paul's dad died... he was only 26.. he had a heart condition... he was his mothers first born baby.. and only boy.. He carried the Jean name and gave it to Paul and was able in his short life to also have 2 other children.. Paul's brother and Sister.. Eric and Michelle. Paul's grandmother.. now great grandmother to JJ had to endure loosing her first born son. Although he was older.. she knows what it is like to have loss.. and misses him daily. She was a pillar of hope for me in my darkest days... to show that love will go on and that we will have other children (she had 4 girls after that)
JJ is now the littlest, Jean and the only boy to carry on the name right now (unless we have another or if Paul's brother has kids)
And Yet.. another type of history on my side... My Dad.. lost his brother (the first born son) Uncle bud... was 45 when he died of a brain tumor. He was outlived by my grandfather, Grandy. Although Grandy did not live to meet Joseph I know what it feels like to outlive your first born...
Like I said.. history of our family is good.. but does have some coincidence.. You never put it all together.. but you know that it all means something.. We have the first born, Bernie in heaven getting to parent Joseph the way he would have his sons here on earth and watch him grow as he was not able to with my husband... Uncle Bud who's had 3 sons (all living with children) Also able to hold my sweet little ones hand and help him grow as only I know he could do.. would do if here still with us..
So many angels.. so different a time... So many happy times that came from such uncertainty.. we all prevail.. we all overcome.. we all have our issues/problems and worry.. we all have our darkest moments and our greatest hours..
We all have family history that makes us who we all are now and shapes our lives and our children here on earth as well as those in heaven.
I always end with love.. with arms reached out to the sky for him.. As he is cared for by so many other angles..
Joseph can you hear mommy? Give your grandfather a hug from me today.. tell your great uncle that we miss him and hope you have reached him... Rock with your Great Grandy.. I love you my son... Mom.
at 7:49 AM