I read this and then added to it over a year ago... Really hits home now.. Even in darker times I knew what was needed in order to move forward with him in my heart... Taken in part from a poem by Daniel Ladinsky and ... part by me, his mom.
Joseph Henry Jean... Yours was the heart I could have cared most for in this world and yours was the heart that I hoped would always so care for me. For caring, I have learned, is a great gift. My precious, beautiful boy, how briefly we were close, and how sad I still become; a blessed sadness though it seems this love, this love.... but how soft it makes my sounds toward others, and that is good. I should think now of what you would want from me if I could watch you grow... it is happiness isn't it? Yes It is joy in my eyes for you and this world too. I will try... I will try for you. And thank you, dear baby Joe, thank you from the deepest parts of me for the wonderful moments, the extraordinary time, yes time, yes time we had.. You are our family, our grandson, our cousin, our nephew, our baby, our son. Yours was the heart and we will love you forever.
Jonathan are you listening? yes baby I will try and I will try and I will never give up hope and love... mommy