Saturday, October 2, 2010

October came

I was not expecting October to come. I didn't want to turn that page and see that the month is October. It happened anyway. I watched as I wrote in my own hand his birthday... and his memorial on the loving spots they will arrive. I sobbed as I saw my hand shake.. a tremble in my soul. Although I am so proud of him and all that he has touched this past year.. I am missing him. So many new friends have come into my life making it more rich than I could have imagined... So many people have reached out and voiced hope and love I almost can't keep count. Of loves that have lost his was great. A piece of my heart never to return went to heaven with him. I don't mind.. For my hole has healed with new light and a life I would have never known. Tears of remembering him slip slowly past my cheek and drip under my chin... but once they touch my heart I know a love that is unstoppable.

Joseph can you hear mommy? I miss you little one. I love you more than the world has air. I can feel you smiling down on me... mom.

Put are you listening? Your big brother is helping you I know.. helping you just like a big brother should. I love you...stay baby stay... mommy


butterflymom said...

Thinking about you this month...I know how hard it is going to be.

Salma said...

Thinking of you...missing lil Joseph with you... and knowing that brighter days are here to stay.