Seems like a momentous hurdle... today I am 12 weeks. Oh, my rose colored glasses are not on.. I know there is no such thing as out of the woods. Perhaps I can get some sleep now.. Perhaps I can eat again without the constant gag and choking. Maybe my mind will ease if only some. I still have fear and worry but more good days are coming. Perhaps I will be able to slowly crawl out of the grief. Joseph's birthday is in 15 days...I know how beautiful his party will be. I took out some of his things.. in his box.. just to touch, smell and remember. Perhaps now I can clean out the drawers.. Make room for Put's things and box up the remaining items we have chosen to keep just for Joseph. It feels like the right time to do this now. Perhaps I will feel better each day coming out of the grief filled year and into the new beginning where hope is already bubbling.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I felt you in my arms again.. You are so strong and powerful. I love you until forever... mommy.
Put are you listening? 12 weeks today we have been together.. you are growing so well and making us so proud. We love you so much and can't wait to see you grow and grow. mom.