Saturday, August 7, 2010


There are so many people who have helped me......... When Joseph died my usually free spirit of giving smiles and laughter was crushed.... My quick wit and kooky nature gone. Even my neck and back physically hurt from hanging my head down so low. Then there where those that came into my life who will forever be new friends. Old friends who really showed up for me and never gave into letting me slip further into dark. Amazing village of love. As it takes a village to raise a child it also takes one to forge their death. I can't give out enough credit to those who did...and forever will be in my heart....If I could I would give back to them the same amount of hope they have given me the world would change... so I will.. I have never been judged for the amount of time I need to grieve.. I have never been questioned as to why I want things with his name on it all the time still. All those that know me understand that I just want to forever keep Joseph memory alive. I want to document each passing moment of my life for him so he can see how much a part of my life he is and will always be. I'm not going to say I don't still have dark moments.. The waves have reduced to small crashes into the sand...but, most of the time my village of hope that surrounds me has shined shined shined into a beautiful part of my life. I am forever changed and will continue to be changed....and when I look inside for who I once was... I see her... only brighter and stronger than before.

Joseph can you hear mommy? Beautiful son who's gifts keep giving and growing with each passing day. I saw you take your first steps in heaven against the magenta sky of night. Sending you so many kisses that you would wiggle and giggle me to stop. I love you my son... mommy


Maureen said...

We all grieve in different ways. You should never forget Joseph because he was and is still a big part of your life. The reason I enjoy reading your blog is even though you have reason to be sad you are not.You show sadness but don't bring others dowm with you. I wish I could handle things the way you do. You are a breath of fresh air.People are there for you because of your attitude. I know If I lived in Arizona you would be a great person to be around. I rejoice with you snd I pray for you daily. Blessings, Maureen

Jen said...

I just saw your last post, congrats! that is awesome.. ((hugs)) and I agree, we are forever changed, stronger than we could ever imagine..

Sole Sister Salma said...

You are loved Brandy and I am so glad I met you.
You are one of the first I told about Rainbow because you have been so wonderful to me.

We are changed and we will never be like we were before and here we are still treking along.