Friday, July 16, 2010

A day at a time...



One day at a time,
This is enough.
Do not look back and grieve over the past.
For it is gone. . .
And do not be troubled about the future.
For it has not yet come.
Live in the present, and make it so beautiful.
That it will be worth remembering.


I love this little statement. It is not mine and I don't know who wrote it but I believe in it and a day at a time. It is hard not to look back and grieve over the past when dealing with infant death but I understand it. I try to look back and remember all that is beautiful instead. Yesterday Joseph would have been 9 months old... today is 9 months since he passed away. That ONE day is worth remembering every single second. So Yesterday I did just that. I remember the second I came out of Anastasia... he was there next to me in a tiny little isolate. I didn't even know he was a boy until I saw my husband who was right behind the helicopter flight nurse who was in her orange jump suit ready to take him to the children's hospital across town. Paul said "We have a son" Joseph Henry..That ONE second I had with my son filled my heart with pride and joy and hope and love and a calm in front of the storm that was about to hit. I touched his hand and he squeezed my heart. I swept a finger across his face and forever that feeling so soft will be ingrained into my soul.... So yesterday I focused on that ONE second. That moment in time where the world was perfect and I had a son.. and a husband.. and a beautiful life filled with what others can only wish for. A day at a time...

Joseph can you hear mommy? Hey beautiful...baby boy. You are chubby now and all wiggly and warm. I see your toothless grin in my dreams and love beyond this world all of you - mommy.

5 comments:

My life said...

Beautiful post. I have been gone for a while and have missed a lot. I was thinking about you yesterday. You cross my mind the 15th of every month. I look forward to catching up on all of the post I've missed. But based on just the titles it seems as though some really good things are in the works. I too did not n=know I was having a son until they came back in the room with him after I delivered and asked me if I would like to hold my son. And for just a moment I smiled. Hugs friend, thinking of you.

Maureen said...

Brandy,
I hope you are ok with me stealing your post. I want others to read this, to be able to be touched by your words. This is a beautiful post. You words touch my heart. Have a Blessed Day my friend, I too will remember the 15th , think about you and Joseph and smile. He is with you every day and he smiles down at you and he touches everyone who has read about him. much love, Maureen

Lisette said...

Oh I just LOVE this post. It is so sweet. ((HUGS))

Christy said...

Brandy--I, too, had a quick moment before they took sweet Chase off in the helicopter. The bond we created in just those few minutes was one I will never forget. Never. Thank you for sharing this post. I know exactly how it feels.

christy

lis said...

gorgeous post, and gorgeous girl. i love that picture. i miss your Joseph too, and i never knew him. i love that you tell his story but i wish his story was different.
xoxo