Thursday, June 17, 2010

Forward...

The calendar keeps moving forward and I see the pages turn. I actually stopped making those tick marks across each day as if somehow that would slow it all down. Like a whirlwind time is flashing fast forward.. and I'm ready and then not. Today I ordered meds for a fresh IVF cycle.. we are planning on doing one soon. If my body holds up.....I don't know all the details this time. I really don't want to know so much... just let it be. I am trying not to calculate forward to baby already but..... forward seems to be the direction I am in and facing this way does create deep hope again for life. I just dipped my toe into the water and it feels like I want to jump in. So I'm going to keep on keeping on and forward I will go.

Joseph can you hear mommy? Can you feel me moving forward with you baby? Can you see that my heart is open and my eyes are bright once more. Smiling at you and loving you forever.. mom.

2 comments:

My life said...

I am so happy you are feeling ready again. I will be praying for peace for you and of course for a successful IVF. I am sorry if I fall short on things to say when it comes to the process of IVF, but I know how to pray and encourage so I'll stick to those. I hope to be on this journey with you in pregnancy, at least for part of it anyway :)

Maureen said...

Brandy,
First off I want to say I am flattered that you are one of my followers. Second, thank you for those kind words. I was trying to be good about it but I was directing it to someone. Anyway, thanks, and lastly you are amazing. I know it is your faith that keeps you going. I know If you didn't have Jesus in your heart you wouldn't have gone on as far as you have. I know you will be blessed one day and I am praying sooner than later. I will start right now to pray for God to find favor and allow this to happen. God Bless the two of you !!
Your Friend,
Maureen