I can't stop my mind from planning. I try to just let things be and go with the flow and wait.. and wait.. for what is to happen to do it. I find myself planning anyway. I still have an ever so hopeful outlook. I still see myself with children. I know it is coming.. I just wish I could plan on the when part. We will try again at the end of summer. If.. and when.. and only.. and hopefully if my body decides to play nice. Things have not returned to normal sense before I was pregnant with Joseph. I think my body forgot how to do what it is supposed to do. I keep coaxing her back to reality but... again my plan is not the plan of the body.. the universe. So I wait and try to let things be and go with the flow and wait.. and wait.. and wait for what is to happen to do it..
Joseph can you hear mommy? Hey beautiful son... I have felt you so close these past few days.. so close I could touch you. You must be growing bigger in my heart each second. So large is my love for you. Mommy.