Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Planning

I can't stop my mind from planning. I try to just let things be and go with the flow and wait.. and wait.. for what is to happen to do it. I find myself planning anyway. I still have an ever so hopeful outlook. I still see myself with children. I know it is coming.. I just wish I could plan on the when part. We will try again at the end of summer. If.. and when.. and only.. and hopefully if my body decides to play nice. Things have not returned to normal sense before I was pregnant with Joseph. I think my body forgot how to do what it is supposed to do. I keep coaxing her back to reality but... again my plan is not the plan of the body.. the universe. So I wait and try to let things be and go with the flow and wait.. and wait.. and wait for what is to happen to do it..

Joseph can you hear mommy? Hey beautiful son... I have felt you so close these past few days.. so close I could touch you. You must be growing bigger in my heart each second. So large is my love for you. Mommy.

6 comments:

Jill said...

Waiting is just so hard... xoxo

tdenicola1 said...

Brandy, This post will resonate with many. When planning, it is the one thing that offers us some facet of control in an otherwise powerless seeming situation. To anticipate the arrival of another beautiful addition to your family, it's damn hard not to want it right now! Hugs2u!

lis said...

i am a planner too and not having a plan really put me into a tailspin some days. i hope that everything works according to plan for you and ill be here!

xoxo

Elizabeth said...

*hugs*

Ashley said...

"Dear God,
I'll wait. I will. I will wait for a very long time, and patiently. Just please, tell me that I'm not waiting in vain."
Is that too much to ask? :o/

elena said...

**hugs** I am praying for you. May the Lord Bless you with all you desire. You are a very deserving and special woman. I hope that everything works out. I know that it is hard to not plan. I am a planner, myself and so I do understand how hard it is to let go and just go with the flow of things. Its gotten easier since losing Lilly, but its still something I battle with.

love and prayers
elena