Sunday should be my first mothers day... it should be a time when my husband buys me a little gift from the baby... Joseph would be just shy of 7 months by Sunday and I'm sure he would be laughing and moving all around.. My gift... Instead I am still celebrating mothers day.. but with Joseph in my heart. I am still a mother I know.. I am a mother to a son in heaven.. I know.. I am all of those things and so much more but... Sunday should be my first REAL mothers day and it is not. As I accept that fact and all the others that have brought me to this place I will celebrate all that I am now to everyone. I am a mother.. to my son in heaven.. I am a daughter to many mothers.. I am a friend so close we could be sisters... I am a sister.. I am your hope.. I hold your heart and on Sunday I will really know what it feels to be a mother. I'm heading out of town for this journey.. Be back late on Sunday. The best medicine for what might otherwise feel like a lost day.. not. And I'll have my first real mothers day... to a living child. It will happen - one day...one day I know.
Joseph can you hear mommy? My sweet baby son. My first born baby.. My old child.. No love can ever be greater than mine for you. I will celebrate your gift to me this year... that you made me a mother. Until forever.... mommy.