Thursday, May 6, 2010

One day

Sunday should be my first mothers day... it should be a time when my husband buys me a little gift from the baby... Joseph would be just shy of 7 months by Sunday and I'm sure he would be laughing and moving all around.. My gift... Instead I am still celebrating mothers day.. but with Joseph in my heart. I am still a mother I know.. I am a mother to a son in heaven.. I know.. I am all of those things and so much more but... Sunday should be my first REAL mothers day and it is not. As I accept that fact and all the others that have brought me to this place I will celebrate all that I am now to everyone. I am a mother.. to my son in heaven.. I am a daughter to many mothers.. I am a friend so close we could be sisters... I am a sister.. I am your hope.. I hold your heart and on Sunday I will really know what it feels to be a mother. I'm heading out of town for this journey.. Be back late on Sunday. The best medicine for what might otherwise feel like a lost day.. not. And I'll have my first real mothers day... to a living child. It will happen - one day...one day I know.

Joseph can you hear mommy? My sweet baby son. My first born baby.. My old child.. No love can ever be greater than mine for you. I will celebrate your gift to me this year... that you made me a mother. Until forever.... mommy.

5 comments:

KristenSchopp said...

Brandy, I will be thinking of you on Sunday - not as a woman who was a mother, but as a woman who IS a mother - a mother who endured more with her baby in 37 hours than many do in 37 years. I hope you have a peaceful day, and I know Joseph will be with you. Sending you lots of love...

Lisette said...

Holding you close to my heart. You ARE an amazing MOMMY. ((HUGS))

elena said...

You are and always will be a mother. Such a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart of gold. *hug* I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

love and prayers
elena

rachel.milner said...

This will be my first mothers day as well. Our first son Michael was stillborn 11/14/09. I read your blog often and it inspires me. You are so very strong and insightful. We have a lot of the same thoughts. I hope that Michael and Joesph are together and maybe even friends watching over us.

Happy mothers day to both of us.

Rachel

Ashley said...

Happy Mother's Day dear friend!