Friday, May 21, 2010

Letting Go


I'm holding onto him... too much in my body. I am holding on so tightly that I can't get back to a normal cycle. I am holding onto him so deep that I'm releasing too much cortisol. I'm holding onto him so close that I would feel a part of me leaving if letting go... And yet I must. Let it go. Let it go.. Let it all out and empty myself into just the place in my heart. Where he belongs. Where he resides. I need to make room for other love. Space for myself that has until now been shoved aside. I am letting go.

Joseph can you hear mommy? Missing you and loving you. Healing inside places and knowing you so close. Love you the most... mommy.

4 comments:

littleharves said...

i remember realising i needed to let go of my grief, not harvey, not my love for him, not my memories of him, but the dark pitt of grief itself. i needed for it to start filling up with other things from life, i needed to rejoin life. i still haven't completely got there yet, i think you are brave, sending love, anne xxx

lis said...

thinking of you brandy and knowing how strong you are, and how full of joseph's love

xoxo

Sherry said...

I'm so sorry for your loss...I remember last year shortly after I loss my twin baby boy, I was holding on so much that it was suffocating. Yet somehow, I learned to breathe again, little by little, and I'm still learning as I navigate this lonely, isolating process...I wish you strength and peace...

elena said...

*(hug)* love the song!

love and prayers to you
elena