It happened not too long ago.. I decided to stop wishing the months away. I am living still and just because I have to wait to try again.. or wait for another opportunity for IVF or FET... I don't have to stop doing what I love. I am finally back to the gym and that gives me so much peace. I am finally able to hang out with my friends and just enjoy them... what is going on with them... catch up on other lives and stop living in just my head. Time still passing I note that there is no sense in hoping for the next month to turn faster just to bring me closer. It is not in my hands anyway we all know that. So with a few months to spare and no decisions to be made as of late.. I just stopped wishing for it all to go so fast. Slow down. Just enjoy the moment.. the time.. the person.. the opportunity... the joy. My favorite saying.. Dance like no ones watching.. and love like there is no tomorrow.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I'm coming up for air again on the tidal waves of grief. I miss you little boy but my love is bigger... can you feel my smile. I love you.. mommy