Myths and Facts about Infertility (with my opinion thrown in!) from RESOLVE
sending out the challenge for you to copy and paste with your answers in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week! (Thanks Liz)
Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.
Brandy: Could not agree more. In fact I volunteer on the RESOLVE help line every Friday for the Southwest Chapter.... This is the best place to find support for both me and my husband.
Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!
Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.
Brandy: Pack a bag... go on vacation.. and relax are all words that make my skin crawl. It should say... It is not in your head.. Seek help now so you don't waste a year spending all your money that you will need anyway for IVF...
Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.
Brandy: I wish I wish I could find a simple way to state this. I AM NOT DONE TRYING YET.... Please don't tell me to adopt unless it is your child and you are willing to sing over the papers to me today... Don't simplify what is already the most painful thing happening in my life unless you know ALL THE FACTS and are prepared for just as much heartbreak potentially.. Also I am NOT BROKEN. I have children that are in need.. and they belong to me... I just have to wait for them.
Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!
Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.
Brandy: This is the best one... and the most funny...
Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.
Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.
Brandy: There is no greater love... than mine with Paul. We are in it for life. That is what it means to be married. For better or worse.
Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!
Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.
Brandy: Steam comes out of my ears when I hear this one..... Really? Does God tell a 15 year old to toss a baby in the garbage can because she is not meant to be a parent yet?
Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.
Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be child free or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.
Brandy: I feel like my babies are on the endangered species list.. you can't touch them.
Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.
Brandy: As much as you want to keep going...time will still continue to pass.. and your body will thank you for healing... instead of pushing (note to self: please take own advise)
Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider child free living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.
Brandy: I will never stop until my family is complete....
Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!
Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.
Brandy: good thing for my husband.. mother.. sister.. friends..these blogs.. BLM's and RESOLVE. Or my life might REALLY be in crisis..
Joseph can you hear mommy? I love you more than all the myths.. facts.. crap I've had to cry over.. explain through.. plead with.. hope for.. hang on to and put up with ... YOU are worth every thing... All of it.. and I would do it all again for another 37 hours. Mommy.