Monday, March 22, 2010
It is today. I am going for blood work. We will see if my little 12 has grown or if that was chemical. I dare not wonder at this point. No changing the path created now. I am actually calm. I feel ok with whatever happens. Not that I didn't wish or worry all weekend but I know that I can't change what happens today. I can't change what happens any day. It is early and I am the only one awake. With the house silent I can't stop thinking of Joseph. This same time last year he was still our secret. We hadn't told the world about him yet. We waited until the 12th week. This time so different. We have told everyone we know about our chance.. Now I just want to keep it a secret even if only for another day. My little 12.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I love you my son. I'm pinching those big cheeks today and kissing your tiny toes. I miss you baby. With all my heart I send you love... Mommy.
at 5:11 AM