Friday, March 12, 2010

All In




What an emotional journey already. I had no idea the wave that was going to hit when I got back from the Dr. Our rainbow's are in and I am waiting for the results.
Doubt creeps in and questions flood my mind. Did we do enough... am I strong enough... are the eggs good enough... Harder to push those doubts away and not allowing for any negative energy to seep in is just hard. I am doing all I can. I know.. We are all hoping for the best... I know... and I still see myself pregnant again. I don't even want to write one negative thing here. Keeping myself in the light, rising above the doubt and HOPING... and Hoping. This little gift came to me at just the right time.. and just how it should be. A beautiful nest made with aromatic lavender and lots of love... filled with eggs. All nestled into the basket. A vivid and tangible reminder that this journey and these hopes are touching so many others and helping me... is humbling. I could not be more grateful. I could not be more hopeful. I am standing raw and exposed to what comes next. A warrior against doubt. I stand tall and proud and yet just below the surface...

Joseph can you hear mommy? I love you, tenderly and soft. In the predawn hours when you visit I cherish. Your warmth carries me and my heart lifts. All of my love to you my baby. Until forever, Mommy.

2 comments:

Salma said...

Brandy,

I hope that you will have only good positive news. When will you find out, or is it too personal to share here?

Once A Mother said...

looking forward to your good news!