Saturday, February 20, 2010
Despite all the tubes and needles... blood pressure cuffs and cool caps, Joseph had a tickle spot. I love this picture because he is showing us his personality. If you see just past all of the medical equipment there he is fussing. We were bothering his leg. Just behind his knee. If you rubbed it he would get all mad and almost laugh. Just in this moment he almost opened his eyes. Almost...I know that would be his tickle spot today if he were here. That would be the place you irritate just because you are the parent and that is was parents do. I miss him. I miss knowing about him and how his life would have been here had he lived. My time with him just too short. The faintest signs of him still present on my body. Connected in spirit now. I try to tickle him from here. I do things that would make him smile in heaven. I try to be silly for him and make faces as I would for him here. Every time the sun shines directly in my eyes I feel him laughing and that I've reached is tickle spot somehow from here.
Joseph can you hear mommy? When you giggle I feel you too. I love you my boy, the most beautiful baby. I miss you my son... Until forever, mommy.
at 5:00 AM