Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Janet

For those of you who know me, you know who I'm talking about.. For those of you who don't... I'm talking about my mother, the one who is my mother in my heart. She came to my life like a beacon from the sky. Tapped into my third eye as I knew she was coming. She has stayed in my heart always. She is the one who holds me up and pushes me toward who I am as a woman. She is a mentor, a councillor, a friend... A gentle soul who carves out paths to walk where there was once too much debris... Someone who can take away the pain or sit beside me and be in pain with me. I love her. We are opening doors in our journey together as mothers. She who did not give birth and me who did not get to keep. Both mothers in our own way still. Knowing our paths are right and followed. Understanding that our relationship is more than most can understand. Two souls brought together by fate forged together by love and children. Without her I would not be back on my journey to motherhood. Knowing her has made my life so much more rich and complete. She reminds me to be honest with my feelings... to allow truths to emerge even when they are painful. To keep it real but to really understand. To be united as women. To bond with anyone who is open to it. To not question, instead to answer from places deep within. If you are lucky enough to have someone like this in your life you are blessed. If you have not yet found this strength, close your eyes and you will see those that really matter in your life. Go to them and freely release the honest feelings you have to them. It will only make this path more beautiful. I wish everyone could have this bond... but I also don't mind being the only one who may ever truly know my gift. I cherish. My Janet.

Joseph can you hear mommy? Your G-mom is here too. She and I cradle you in our thoughts daily. We are learning from you too. Our brave boy. We love you until forever.. G-mom and the mommy too.

1 comment:

margaret said...

Your mother sounds like a beautiful woman, you are so lucky to have her. I'm very sad to read about your beautiful Joseph, there is no greater pain than to be separated from your child. Sending you hugs