Thursday, January 7, 2010

Hour

In the first hour of Josephs life... It took twelve of the precious 60 before he took his first breath. I never heard him cry when the lungs finally burst open. I was still knocked completely out on the operating table. On call that night was a neurologist. It was lucky to have had him in the room (so I was told). Joseph was given a chance to fight. He had saved Josephs life. In the next 18 min they incubated him. Drew blood.. tested vitals and brought him to the NI CU. Stable for the first and only time in his short life. Somewhere around 30 min mark.... Paul got to see our son. The Dr said. It is a boy.... then asked ..."did you name him"? Yes... we did. He is Joseph Henry Jean. the Dr then told Paul.... He is very sick. He will need to be transported to Phoenix Children's hospital. The air vac team arrived. They are two of them dressed in orange suits. 45 precious minutes have passed. Paul is behind them... They rush the incubator down to me. They brought me my son as I lie trying to come out of the haze of being put under... I can't move. I have a son. He is pushed up next to my bed. I can barley reach him with my right hand. I can touch his tiny hand.... he held my finger. A flight nurse said... We have to go. The 60Th minute, he is flying in a helicopter alone. Paul frantically driving to get to our son. I collapsed back into a numb feeling. Nobody told me how sick he was then.. I was so happy.. He was here. I had a son. In the first hour of Josephs life.....

Joseph can you hear mommy? I miss you sweet one. I long for you. I am reaching out to heaven with all my might to send you a hug. I love you until forever... mom.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Oh sweety. My heart aches for you. *hugs*

Once A Mother said...

tragic... so very sorry.