Sunday, January 31, 2010
Glimps of Normal
I got a glimpse of my new normal this weekend... I laughed.... I mean I really laughed... They kind where all your makeup runs off your face becuase you can't stop and you don't care if the mascara smears. Ah....I forgot how much I like her. That person who is not so sad... not so serious...not so hurt. I had a chance to really feel that everything was going to be okay. I know I will have a child of my own.. here with me. I know that family will always include my son in heaven. His brothers or sisters will know him as I do... spiritually. We will all be together again and I KNOW it now... as I am moving my feet one in front of the other... no steps behind not going back...looking forward eyes facing up.... I still have tears. I still miss my son... but I am keeping going. A glimpse of my new normal is much like my old only much more rich. My life has so much more meaning. My love is deaper.. greater... fuller... tighter and finally has laughter.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I hope you had as much fun seeing mommy laugh as I enjoyed doing it... I could feel you giggling along with me. Radiating from my soul.
I love you until forever... mommy.
at 2:21 PM