Dr. apt did not go as hoped... then again nothing really has gone as hoped... but I really thought that there could not possibly be more I would have to do this time as we tried to get pregnant. (besides isn't having to do IVF enough?) I was mistaken ....more to come. There is still good news. My uterus is surviving... it has some issues but it is hanging in there with me. I feel like me it is limping along. I have calcium deposits on it now and will have surgery tomorrow. The Dr said that it is very likely part of my placenta that has calcified. Did it have to happened right where it is... on the back of my uterus where they would need to put the transfer... no, but it is there .... and that is where I am. Down.. but not out. They didn't tell me I would not be pregnant again and that is now what I cling too. So pray for it to happen easily tomorrow that the calcium is not too deep to scar my poor little uterus. Please hope for a fast recovery and that I will be given a chance at becoming a mother again. All I need is a chance to keep my hope up and alive. I'm not looking so far ahead. I'm only looking at tomorrow now. Let me get this done and let it be the only thing that stands in my way.. this time. My fragile heart needs a boost.
Joseph can you hear mommy? we have to let go.. of the last part I have of you in me. All of you will reside in my heart forever but... this last little part I have to let go. I love you .. mommy.