Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Odds

The odds of what happened to me during my pregnancy are small. According to my Dr. this should not have happened at all. I had an Obstetrics Catastrophe, odds are 1 in 1 million that this could have happened. 1 in 1 million and we are the one. I was told this a while ago but it didn't really register to me how slim those odds where until I went back to the Dr. last Friday. My Dr. puts all of the babies that he delivers up on his wall in the office. You can see all the babies born when you are in the waiting room or when you check out. When I went to leave last week I looked for Joseph's picture on the wall. I could not find it. The nurse told me "we made a special place for all of our angel babies pictures". You did I said where? She said "right there in the upper left hand corner".. Oh, so I look again. Joseph is the only angel there. So of all the babies delivered to my Dr this year, Joseph Henry is the only angel. The odds sunk in pretty good as I reviewed all of the other babies pictures this year. I did not feel comforted in knowing this but then again I did knowing that the other babies are home and safe. The nurses were so proud that they had created an angel's section on the picture board. I would have rather that they just left his picture where it was... With all the other babies but, I just smiled and said thank you.

Joseph can you hear mommy? Hi baby. We lit a candle for you last night with all the other moms and dads who have angels that are in heaven with you. We said your name and read the poem your dad wrote. It was a beautiful night. Your candle shines so bright. I am sending you a thousand kisses today. Love Mommy.

3 comments:

A Room of One's Own said...

Hugs...

Huntress said...

It's a lottery you shouldn't have had to win, BJ. It's a cold comfort...and when the time is right, the "odds" will be in your favor. That I know...I'm banking on you and Paul...

Love you big time...
Janet

JamieW said...

So very sad. I am glad that you are at least able to visit your OB--that is something I can't really do right now.

I sometimes wonder how I got so on the wrong side of the odds and if it means I will always be.