It has not been very long... I don't expect miracles and for grief to end any time soon. I am only now coming to terms with the extent of it. I went in for acupuncture yesterday to start getting my body in order. It is all out of whack. I met a wonderful Doctor that was recommended by my fertility specialist. I needed to change everything I did so I could not go back to the other acupuncture doctor this time. She told me that we had a lot of work to do and I half agreed and half thought nah... lets just get started. She told me that grief is held in your lungs and we needed to get it moving out. OK I said and we began. We started out gentle with lots of healing heart needles and warming needles to try to get my circulation and liver under control. That felt good. A half an hour later she took those needles out and we Begin the lungs. As soon as the first needle entered I started to cry. Not sobs just tears started to roll down my face like a faucet. See, she said... grief sticks like tar and we have to work it out before your body can begin to heal. I left feeling cleansed and felt like I made some progress in healing of my body. The scars fade quickly but now I can attest that the grief sticks and it will take a lifetime of healing.
Joseph can you hear mommy? We are going sledding today, me and your dad are going out for some much needed silly fun. We will be thinking of you each time we race down the hill. I love you with all of my heart and am sending you a million kisses. Mommy