Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Shea Butter

Shea is 8 months old. She is the cutest baby and really good medicine for me. I got to watch her yesterday for more than just an hour. She was here most of the afternoon. As we played I noticed a great sense of calm around me. Just the joy of having her in the house, changing her diaper, changing her clothes and feeding her. I had fun. I was laughing and really really happy. She can stand on her own now but can't quite take a step by herself. She could if she wanted to but, she does not know that yet... It is so inspiring to watch her as she holds herself on two feet and tires really hard to take that firs step. I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'm standing on my own two feet but I don't know how to take that next step. I don't even know what the next step is or what direction it should be. For now just to be standing on solid legs is a start. Josephs death knocked me to my knees.... but, his life and my moments with him give me the strength to get back up again.

Joseph can you hear mommy? I am standing. My arms are reaching out to you and I am holding you so close in my heart. My precious little man all of my love.... mom.

2 comments:

Huntress said...

Dearest Brandy you are not only standing on your feet again...you are beginning to relearn the dance steps. You and Paul walk in mighty love and family will bloom for you again...I know it. Joseph is guiding you there...

I love you bunches...

Salma said...

Hi Brandy,

You are so brave being able to say you are not sure where the next step will lead.

I know words can't erase or at times even ease the pain but just wanted to let you know that someone out there has an ounce of an idea what you are feeling.

Hugs.