Shea is 8 months old. She is the cutest baby and really good medicine for me. I got to watch her yesterday for more than just an hour. She was here most of the afternoon. As we played I noticed a great sense of calm around me. Just the joy of having her in the house, changing her diaper, changing her clothes and feeding her. I had fun. I was laughing and really really happy. She can stand on her own now but can't quite take a step by herself. She could if she wanted to but, she does not know that yet... It is so inspiring to watch her as she holds herself on two feet and tires really hard to take that firs step. I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'm standing on my own two feet but I don't know how to take that next step. I don't even know what the next step is or what direction it should be. For now just to be standing on solid legs is a start. Josephs death knocked me to my knees.... but, his life and my moments with him give me the strength to get back up again.
Joseph can you hear mommy? I am standing. My arms are reaching out to you and I am holding you so close in my heart. My precious little man all of my love.... mom.