Time has gone by very quickly.. and yet so slow. It is hard to explain the feeling it have. It is like running in place. My whole life has changed. My son died 1 month ago today. That sounds so strange to say. I shouldn't have to say it. I should be hitting the first month milestone with laughter instead of tears. I should be calling everyone today to tell them Joseph smiled for the first time. I sit here today wondering so deeply about him. Would he be serious like his dad or a jokester like me? Would he still look so much like us or would he change to his own looks? I look at the empty nursery and am stunned. It just is not fair.
Joseph, can you hear mommy? I love you so much. I miss you and I can't stop thinking about you. Are you smiling? I am sending you a big 1 month old kiss right now. My big man already.