Monday, November 16, 2009

A month

Time has gone by very quickly.. and yet so slow. It is hard to explain the feeling it have. It is like running in place. My whole life has changed. My son died 1 month ago today. That sounds so strange to say. I shouldn't have to say it. I should be hitting the first month milestone with laughter instead of tears. I should be calling everyone today to tell them Joseph smiled for the first time. I sit here today wondering so deeply about him. Would he be serious like his dad or a jokester like me? Would he still look so much like us or would he change to his own looks? I look at the empty nursery and am stunned. It just is not fair.

Joseph, can you hear mommy? I love you so much. I miss you and I can't stop thinking about you. Are you smiling? I am sending you a big 1 month old kiss right now. My big man already.

3 comments:

Kimberly Shedd said...

We are thinking about you and Paul constantly, Brandy. Know that we are here if you ever feel like talking or hanging out. We wish your Joseph was here so badly. Keep moving forward and if that means spending the day in Jospeh's room wiht all of his things, or out by the peacful water that surrounds him now, do it!

Huntress said...

This weekend was so hard...so hard and then I realized that it was the 1st of many anniversaries that we'll be marking about Joseph...the first month. How can that be? A month has passed and I am shocked that I am still in shock in places in me. sigh...Dear Brandy, you are in me and my heart every moment of every day. There's nothing more I can say about it except that it's how I move through my days now....

I love you so

Salma said...

Hi Brandy,

I'm sorry that you are not counting milestones. It's not fair and I don't think my words could ever make it better.