I love to look at the Lina Nigra that is still on my belly. It is the line that is still there as if to say.. yes Joseph Henry was born and you did carry him 40 weeks in your womb. He was born. You are a mother... I love that line... I am so glad that is has not yet faded away. I don't want it to ever go away. I look at myself so differently now. I am the same person but, so much has changed. Have my eyes always looked this way? No, they are too knowing now and there is a pain there that has never been before. They are a deeper color of brown. Has my mouth always looked this way? No, it has a different look to it as it curves down at the ends when I am not thinking or paying attention. Has my heart always felt this way? No, it is bigger now and it is heavy...but with love. There are so many questions and no real answers. I miss my baby boy so much.
Joseph can you hear mommy? The sun is coming up and I am singing to you, can you hear it? Here comes the sun...... Here comes the sun, little darling... Its alright, its alright.
I miss you a lot, but I love you more than I miss you.