I keep using the dreft. For some reason the smell of the baby laundry soap brings me closer to Joseph. It is like keeping his smell on me or near me at all times. Yesterday I washed the sheets to our bed in it. I love that smell. Somehow though it feel cheated that I'm smelling the soap instead of inhaling the sweet sent of my son. I miss him so much that I can sometimes not even think.. my heart reaches for him.
Joseph Henry, do you hear your mommy? I love you just is not enough. I miss you words don't give justice to the urning in my heart for you. Daddy and I still don't understand what happened or why. We never will. We can only tell you that you are our son and that love is all we have. We are together forever.
I am humbled and raw with emotion. I will keep going.... and hoping for us. Patience.