I wake up looking for you and feeling you in my arms. I panik because you are not here and then I cry because I miss you so much. I pick myself up and go to your room to turn on the light so that you know I am there. I miss you so much that my heart has been hung out to dry. My tears flow and my eyes sting in pain.
Mornings are the hardest for me. I am the only one up and the house is very quiet. I feel you there where you should be next to me.. in my arms.. but when I go to hold you there is only air. My arms ache and my stomach turns.
Then when I'm done feeling sad for myself I think of you and where you are and how you are doing. I know you are not alone and I know that you are in a better place with no hurts and no worries and no pain.
I will never understand what happened or why and I can only be here missing you now and still and forever and always in love with my baby boy who came into my life fighting... Joseph you are so powerful and strong. I love you - your mom.