Virus strikes

I Loathe taking JJ to daycare. we have a virus now.. fever of 103 and can't keep anything even pedialite down.. Poor guy. No relief for him and this is day 4.. going on 5. We return to the Dr tomorrow hopeful for an IV. I know who hopes for one of those.. me... who knows that it has to be better for him than all this needless throw up and heartache.

He is too cute for this.. (I know I know we all say that)

On a good note.. we are 4 weeks away from his First birthday - Happy 11 month old. JJ is 20 lbs.. 31 inches and walking like a champ.. He says Hey Dad.. Dadda.. something like thank you. He knows sign language like.. all done.. more and eat. Everyday we love him more as we watch this kid learn and explore..he is our happy.. our love. our light and our connection to Joseph in heaven. We love our life still, always and more.

Joseph can you hear momma? I know you can as you continue to share your gifts with us.. Thankyou for my sunrise in Florida on my way home.. I felt you deep in my heart.
Momma

Wakeful

Why in the night do I feel so restless. Dreams of you silent of late. Thoughts of you vivid and strong. The smell scents the sheets and I feel you in my arms, heavy and whole. Tears stain my pillow upon awareness that I felt you but could not see you sweet little man. As I try to fall into a dream again with hopes of a whispered, I love you or vision of dark hair and big smiles another tear spills as I notice I missed the window again.
Upon reflection I think you were there... snuggled in close for a while working your magic. I only wish tangible the moment.

Joseph can you hear mommy? I love you more than every breath I have. I would give mine for you if possible. thinking of all that you are in heaven and loving you tender and soft. deep in my heart son.. deep in my heart. Love, mom